Hello readers, if any of you are left! I've been missing in action for a month now (wow, has it been that long?). I miscarried our baby at 10 weeks and 2 days, requiring a curette, and then got an infection which I am still fighting now. It's been a devasting time in every way and I'm trying to join the human race again while letting myself grieve.
I haven't made much in the way of hybrid projects, done any LO's either digital or paper, haven't blogged or been reading my favourite blogs. I've been doing the daily routine, which has been good as I have to get out of bed and feed the kids, do the school/kinder runs, the washing, cooking etc. But I haven't been with it and I've been trying to pretend I'm OK when I'm not. I've been seeing a psychologist since late last year who has been helping me overcome depression, and when I saw him last week (the first session since all this happened) he made me realise that's it OK to not be OK and that this will take some time to deal with. So if I'm having a crappy day, I can admit it now without putting on my smiley face and pretending that everything is fine.
I had also applied for Uni this year to do a Bachelor of Teaching off campus through Deakin. I rang the course co-ordinator last year and told her what I had in the way of previous education and she said I was a good candidate for the course. However, I didn't get an offer and when I rang the Uni I found out that they don't actually offer a psychology stream there (which was one of my majors). Had I known this, I would have applied to other courses instead of putting all my eggs in one basket. So that's on hold for now while I research some more as to what I can do next year. When I didn't get in, I was disappointed, but as I was pregnant I thought maybe it was the universe's way of telling me to not put too much on my plate.
And my home away from home, my beloved Snap and Scrap, which gave me such joy last year when I was diagnosed with depression is closing at the end of this month. It's just not working out and Gillian (God bless her cotton socks for the amazing job she has done keeping it afloat for as long as it has) just can't put any more into it and has had to make the hard decision to close the site down.
So now all my plans and paths for this year are gone - no baby, no uni, no hybrid CT, so I'm feeling lost and uncertain. Which if I wasn't such a control freak and perfectionist to boot would probably be easier to deal with.
So I'm taking a day at a time and doing what I can and trusting that there is a lesson to be learnt in all this. Thank you for your patience and thank you to all my friends and family who have supported my family and I through this, even when I didn't talk to or see anyone for a week. I am grateful for the love.